Pearl in the Oyster

interests

2011-06-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

princess di- life and death
reagan and nancy
jackie o and audrey hep's eating disorders

in my heaven

2011-06-08T10:35:00.000-07:00

so far the attendees include:

Ellen Degeneres
Gandhi
Maya Angelou
Adele
Jack Johnson
The Dalai Lama
Paul Walker (just for some eye candy)
Jackie Kennedy
Anjelah Johnson

Being Average.

2011-05-25T15:28:00.000-07:00

I think I've just discovered something. People actually don't want to know about how happy you are. They don't want to hear you gloat, brag, or light up about how something or someone that makes you so elated. They might once or twice but in general I think it brings out a feeling of "oh shut up already" so if you share your happiness, you must censor and limit it. which blows.
So I always knew people dont want to hear about your troubles. they dont want to know whats wrong, even if they ask. they tire of hearing your problems because they have enough problems of their own. I have come to the conclusion that the average person, the average friend, only wants to hear your life is average good and average bad. if its awful, please keep to yourself. if its amazing, don't rub it in.

The only people who care when you're at your highs and your lows are your real friends.
The average friend only wants to hear you are just that- average.

Cynical much? maybe.
but i think i am on to something here.

The beginning is the best...

2011-05-13T13:17:00.001-07:00

Benjamin Button Inspirational Speech

click it or ticket.

My She-roe: Maya Angelou

2011-05-13T10:57:00.000-07:00

Maybe when you look at a page with massive amounts of quotes, it kind of makes each quote a little bit less special, and its harder to appreciate the depth of a real great quote when it is right beside another great one. But I could never pick a favorite with these... I have always loved so many Maya Angelou quotes (and poems etc). But at this juncture of my life every single word I read speaks so loudly to me and fills me with a strong sense of agreement and inspiration. I know some people like to go through life saying that they have "no regrets" and usually I try to take the lesson out of my mistakes to not look at them as regrets. But this mistake, I do regret: When Maya Angelou was at Chapman University in the spring of 2007, I didn't ditch my class to hear her speak. (Way to be responsible at the wrong time) And I regret that, so much. I should have gone to listen to her speak, I will always regret not going. So that has to go on my bucket list for me to cross off, as soon as possible.

Here is a collection of my favorites saying by Maya Angelou. Some you have probably heard, others maybe not.

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."

"The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them."

"You can't use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have."

"Life loves the liver of it."

"To be left alone on the tightrope of youthful unknowing is to experience the excruciating beauty of full freedom and the threat of eternal indecision"

"First best is falling in love. Second best is being in love. Least best is falling out of love. But any of it is better than never having been in love. "

"A woman who is convinced that she deserves to accept only the best challenges herself to give the best. Then she is living phenomenally"

"Some people cannot see a good thing when it is right here, right now. Others can sense a good thing coming when it is days, months, or miles away."

"Let's tell the truth to people. When people ask, 'How are you?' have the nerve sometimes to answer truthfully. You must know, however, that people will start avoiding you because, they, too, have knees that pain them and heads that hurt and they don't want to know about yours. But think of it this way: If people avoid you, you will have more time to meditate and do fine research on a cure for whatever truly afflicts you."

"To those who have given up on love: I say, "Trust life a little bit."

"Success is loving life and daring to live it.

"All great achievements require time."

"My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return."

"Most people don't grow up. Most people age. They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, get married, have children, and call that maturity. What that is, is aging."

"I don't trust anyone who doesn't laugh."

"Be present in all things and thankful for all things"

"Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope"

"Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman"

"The desire to reach for the stars is ambitious. The desire to reach hearts is wise."

"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."

"Life is pure adventure, and the sooner we realize that, the quicker we will be able to treat life as art."

"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass."

"You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you."

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style"

"Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it."

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

— Maya Angelou

besos

2011-05-11T20:05:00.000-07:00

xoxo

Dalai Lama words of wisdom

2011-05-09T12:52:00.000-07:00

Here are some of my favorite quotes from his holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso. (I still wish I could have seen him speak at USC last week!)

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.

My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.

There is a saying in Tibetan, "Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength."

No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that's our real disaster.

Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day.

Self-discipline, although difficult, and not always easy while combating negative emotions, should be a defensive measure.

It is necessary to help others, not only in our prayers, but in our daily lives. If we find we cannot help others, the least we can do is to desist from harming them.

Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something, and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then also there is no need to worry.

The important thing is to realize the positive side and try to increase that; realize the negative side and try to reduce. That's the way.

Great love and great achievements involve great risk.

People should never sit alone for too long when they're crying.

Human happiness and human satisfaction must ultimately come from within oneself... Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

To a large extent, whether you suffer depends on how you respond to a given situation.

Soul Mates

2011-05-08T10:30:00.000-07:00

Weird shmagina products

2011-05-06T14:32:00.000-07:00

Click here to see

I think the writers at Cosmopolitain are idiots. But this is kind of funny.

Most Hated Baby Names!? I don't know about that.

2011-05-06T10:55:00.000-07:00

Here's the full list (with notes from Live Science) ... brace yourself:
Here is the link to the page

Girls

Nevaeh ("heaven" spelled backward and one of the most divisive names around, according to Wattenberg)

Destiny (people dislike names that confer a virtue onto a child, Wattenberg said -- and many associated this name with exotic dancers)

Madison

Mackenzie

McKenna

Addison (an example of a masculine named turned feminine, which many people dislike, Wattenberg said)

Gertrude (people said this name is "ugly")

Kaitlyn (for its "made-up" spelling)

Makayla

Bertha (author's note: duh!)

Boys

Jayden

Brayden

Aiden

Kaden (these rhyming names struck many as overdone, Wattenberg reported)

Hunter (too much like a last name or "too violent")

Hayden

Bentley (people dislike brand-name names, Wattenberg found, calling them "trashy")

Tristan

Michael (too boring, according to some)

Jackson

I'm surprised to see some of them there -- especially Michael, and Kaitlyn doesn't seem that strangely spelled to me. But some of them, yeah ... "Bentley," really?

Still, if you love a name, it's your baby, and you get to decide. Don't let the haters color your opinion of a name you love ... just know that your child may be among those who hate it too.

What do you think of the baby names on this most hated list? Are your children's names on it? Do you care? "

***Okay so here's my two cents:
I like Tristan. Whats wrong with Tristan?
And I like Michael too, even if its not creative, so what?!?!
Jackson- Now... does that mean just that spelling or is JAXON also bad?? Sorry Cassidy, these people are wrong, everyone is naming their kid Jackson/Jaxon so its not a hated name!
Bertha and Gertrude- that's a joke right?? Nobody names their baby that
Aiden is popular, not hated. but I do agree everyone tries to rhyme them, hayden, jayden... not still, not the most hated baby names! Pssh
KAITLYN? I'm sorry don't listen to them.
And what is wrong with Makalya?? Sorry Kimberly, don't listen to them either.
I will say I dont really like the Navaeh but it is cool that its heaven backwards... I don't know though.

This is a pretty bad list. Maybe I should make my own. Except who would make a list of the most hated names? that is just straight up mean. There are too many names on here of people that I like, some of them being babies!

Maybe we should all just name all the babies "Ladan. " Yeah, that has a nice ring to it.

Poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye, 1932

2011-05-05T10:41:00.000-07:00

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow,

I am the softly falling snow.

I am the gentle showers of rain,

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,

I am in the graceful rush

Of beautiful birds in circling flight,

I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room.

I am in the birds that sing,

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave bereft

I am not there. I have not left.

I.believe.in.a.thing.called.love

2011-05-05T00:49:00.000-07:00

I believe in signs, whether from god, the universe or wherever they originate.

I believe in wearing lingerie, even when you are alone.

I believe in forgiveness.

I believe in speaking your mind.

I believe the most important relationship in your life is the one with yourself.

I believe that giving is far more fulfilling that receiving.

I believe that a life free of passion will never be complete.

I believe in second chances. And sometimes thirds...

I believe that distance does not make or break a friendship.

I believe that I can have everything I want in life. With hard work and patience.

I believe everyone is more beautiful when they are smiling.

I believe in putting family first.

I believe in the saying "this too shall pass" no matter what the situation may be.

I believe you should do things that scare you, as often as possible.

I believe your age is as old as you feel.

I believe in going without a map, because sometimes finding your way is fun.

Albert Einstein

2011-05-04T23:27:00.000-07:00

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

Advice from Somewhere

2011-05-04T23:21:00.000-07:00

ONE.
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO.
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE.
Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR.
When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE.
When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX.
Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN.
Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT.
Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE.
Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN.
In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.
ELEVEN.
Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE.
Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN.
When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN.
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN.
Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN.
Remember the three R's:
Respect for self;
Respect for others;
Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN.
Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN.
When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY.
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE.
Spend some time alone.

Superhero wisdom

2011-05-04T11:24:00.000-07:00

People will adore and love you for all the things you've done for them, but will hate you for a single mistake, that's the irony of life--Spiderman

Game over

2011-05-04T11:22:00.001-07:00

Players never change.
You might have won your game,
but you lost me.

Sail on

2011-05-04T11:21:00.001-07:00

It is not good to hate all roses because you got pricked by one thorn;
to lose faith in prayers because one wasn’t answered;
to give up on your efforts because one of them failed;
to stop believing in love because someone didn’t love you back;
to throw away all your chances to be happy because you didn’t succeed on the first attempt.

Life isn’t about giving up but learning how to sail on.

Know Pain, Know Gain.

2011-05-04T11:20:00.002-07:00

Hurt is a funny thing.

Even though it makes you feel weak inside,

it actually makes you stronger.

J.K. Rowling Quote

2011-05-04T11:20:00.001-07:00

"Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life." - J. K. Rowling

My Intention

2011-05-04T11:19:00.000-07:00

Always choose to heal, not to hurt;

to forgive, not to despise;

to persevere, not to quit;

to smile, not to frown;

and to love, not to hate.

At the end of life , what really matters is not what we bought but what we BUILT;

not what we got but what we shared;

not our competence but our character;

and not our success, but our significance.

Live a life that matters.

Live a happy life that cares.

Kindness

2011-05-04T11:18:00.001-07:00

To be kind is more important than to be right. Sometimes what a person needs is not a brilliant mind that speaks but a patient heart that listens.

Logic

2011-05-04T11:17:00.000-07:00

In a crowd a man cracked a joke. The people laughed hard.

After a moment he cracked the same joke again & a little less people laughed this time.

He cracked the same joke again & very few laughed this time.

When there was no laughter in the crowd, he smiled & said,

"when you can't laugh on the same joke again & again then why do you keep crying over the same thing over & over again?"

Tell them

2011-05-04T11:16:00.000-07:00

The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they're alive. -- Optimus Prime

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

2011-05-04T11:15:00.000-07:00

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON:
It is usually to meet a need you have expressed
They may seem like a godsend, and they are
They are there for the reason you need them to be
Then without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to and end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, and their work is done.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON :
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done
They usually give you an unbelieveable amount of joy
Believe it is real, but only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

Today, thank the person who in one way or another have been a part of your life. Even if a small way you can make them feel that you are indeed thankful for their presence, as well as the beautiful moments they have given- no matter if they are your reason, season, or your lifetime.

California Wine Festival

2010-04-19T12:57:00.000-07:00

At the Laguna Niguel Ritz Carlton this thursday from 6:30-9

I want to go!!

On Thursday night at the elegant Ritz-Carlton Grand Ballroom the future is now! Taste what the future holds for a selection of unfiltered, still-aging barrel samples taken from their resting places in wooden barrels. Delicious sustainable seafood samples will also be featured on this night of 21st century classics. Live music and silent wine auction.
Participating Restaurants:
Costco - Assorted fruits/vegetables
First Cabin - Lobster Bisque
Harbor Grill Restaurant -Freshly Shucked, Sustainably Farmed Oysters from the Carlsbad Aqua Farm with our Maui Onion Salsa.
Kerrygold Cheeses and Butters - Assorted Cheeses
Pascal - Filet of loup de mer with a sea beans nage
Pinot Provence - Ahi tuna, truffle pickled Shemeji mushroom, grilled scallions
Restaurant 162’ - Sushi
Schaffer's Genuine Foods - California Humboldt Fog cheese cake with mandarin marmalade pinot noir gelée, Pt. Reyes bleu cheese, pecan cracker
Stonehill Tavern
The Loft - Coriander scented Dungeness crab, Fuerte avocado and pickled ramps.
The Winery Restaurant
Wildfish Seafood Grille

Things to do with Audra Lyon*...

2010-04-18T16:34:00.000-07:00

(*And anyone else who may care to join)

Take a Cooking Class. Or two...or three...
Go to South Carolina
Go to Tahoe
Go Wine Tasting
Volunteer!
See Sex and the City 2 (obvi)
Go to Vegas
Go to NAPA!
HAWAII
Think of more things to add to this list

I have plans to make plans

2010-04-18T15:53:00.000-07:00

I was excited for this weekend and now that its passed I am already getting excited for the next! Earlier today one of my good friends was getting excited for some summer plans we are making, and it was cute how excited she was getting, but I'm realizing how much I too love making plans. How wonderful it is to have something to look forward to. It makes you want to count down the days, like a kid at Christmas time, to the event you've been waiting for.

On a side note- Supposing you have an exciting thing you are planning, wouldn't you want to tell people about it? I'm offended if someone who I am really close with can keep their big plans to themselves, when I am always oozing with excitement to tell that person about my stuff.

Bottom line is: I love looking forward to something! Who doesn't? Now that my fun weekend is over, I'm already making great plans for this evening, and it inspires me to want to do something exciting every day. I realize every day can't always be the most exciting day, and that everyone has to do things like work, and do gross boring things like cleaning toilets and paying bills and things that kill one's buzz. But I'm thinking that I can stay a little high on life if I keep at least one simple pleasure a day. This could be just a meal, like a delicious healthy breakfast, which by the time I'm done with makes me so happy! (*Yes i am a fatty...) Or even just a plan to work out, which to some might feel is an obligation or a chore but to others could see it as an opportunity to try the new exercise dvd they just got. I like looking forward to something, and turning something not usually enjoyable into something I can enjoy. I whole heartedly believe that attitude is everything and if I plan a little something for every day of my life, there will never be an unfulfilling day. So I pity those of you who look down on us planner- types, claiming we have to have all things so structured and we can't fly off the seam of our pants. you are WRONG! we can fly. we just like to pick out which pants to wear!

Let it go

2010-02-21T17:33:00.000-08:00

We cannot control the actions of others we can only control ourselves.

Lead by example.

Kindness is love with its work boots on.

There is no E in Ladan

2010-02-19T00:50:00.000-08:00

The definition of Laden is to be weighed down with a heavy load

I have been confused for "Laden" before and maybe it is insulting- aside from the person's inability to read.

But I will no longer be weighed down or burdened, nor will I be heavy. So fix your spelling.

And for the people in the world who can only take things at face value, I suggest you start to look further. Don't confuse overly thoughtful people for ridiculous or hypersensitive. Maybe we who dare to look farther possess insight which "normal" people are unable to find without a GPS.

morons

2010-02-13T18:20:00.000-08:00

some people you just cant change. some people are so set in there ways they will never open their minds to the possibility that there are more truths than their own. I have to accept that there are people in this world that are just going to be idiots and you can't change them. And you can't let them get to you. You lose a part of yourself to them when you allow them to steal part of your happiness.

About the UNICEF Tap Project

2010-01-22T19:33:00.001-08:00

One of the things I'm thinking about volunteering for. Since you can't go a day without hearing about haiti, and this project has an event for haiti coming out in a week-ish

About the UNICEF Tap Project

Posted using ShareThis

2010-01-22T19:30:00.000-08:00

Sunday Funday in Huntington Beach

Check out this link about "sunday funday", it is this weekend and it looks fun to me... Wish I wasn't working sunday night so I could get a little buzz on and make this even better.

When: Sun Jan 24, morning-afternoon

Where: Main Street in huntington

What: You and a partner are dressed in funny outfits (not required) and participate in a 5k/other activities in this walk/run event... people will be drinking and having a good time for a good cause:

Cost: $28-33

"The Sunday Funday Adventure benefits the Magic Shoe Foundation which is a Newport Beach, CA non-profit organization that exists to provide shoes for various underprivileged high schools, elementary schools, Boys & Girls Clubs and other local organizations."

Here's one more lil bit that I copied from the website incase you are too lazy to clink the link:

Includes approximately:

-3 Miles traveled
-Run, Walk and Beach Cruise Divisions

- Adult beverage(s)

-10 Activity Locations
-Participant T-shirt *
-Activities will be revealed on event day but they will be fun, surprising and your favorite games. . .with a twist!)
-Post Event Party at Aloha Grill on Main Street Huntington Beach!

Event Schedule:

9:30 am - Aloha Grill Opens for Breakfast

10:30 am - Registration Opens (downstairs from Aloha Grill)

11:45 am - Mandatory meeting

12:00 noon - Start!

12:00 noon - 2 pm - Post Race Party at Aloha Grill

2:00 pm - Awards at Aloha Grill

2010-01-22T19:26:00.000-08:00

Volunteermatch.org

-its a really good site to check out if you're interested in volunteer work

things I am giving up because I have too much

2009-12-02T22:39:00.000-08:00

note: these are sure to be only temporary. As for how temporary, we shall see.

1. SLEEPING PAST 9 on weekdays, 10 on weekends. I hate how late I have been sleeping on accident.

2. CHOCOLATE- and candy altogether.

3. Starbucks beverages minus tea

4. Fast Food. taco bell? In-n-out? I will miss you guys.

5. Fro-Yo?? Really? Yeah unfortunately I don't know how to have frozen yogurt without covering it in candy and such.

6. Wine. HAHAH yeah right. that was a joke. I can't give that up sorry. I'm not a smoker, I need something to calm me down when the world is pissing me off. :)

QUOTE OF THE DAY

2009-12-02T22:37:00.000-08:00

the best things in life aren't things

Most dangerous medicine combinations

2009-11-28T16:47:00.000-08:00

The second most leading cause of accidental deaths after car accidents is mixing prescription medicine with over the counter drugs.

Pain pills + Blood Thinners

when on a blood thinner, the safest thing to take is acetaminophen

Pain pills + Diet Pills

this can cause a stroke

Pain Pills + thyroid pills

Calcium + thyroid pills

Decongestants + diabetes and blood pressure drugs

Mary

2009-11-24T12:30:00.000-08:00

There was a point in her life where she had to struggle not to commit suicide. Somewhere inside, the will to live was strong and she's lived today not only to become a success in the music industry but a contributor to society. She has used her fame and wealth on a cause that is very near to her heart.

Mary J. Blige was around five years old when when her father started physically abusing her mother, only before abandoning their family. When she was growing up she saw so many women beaten by their men. She heard their screaming in her apartment building. "I would walk outside and I would see them being slapped so hard, it looked like their head was gonna come off.. and it wasn't just in poverty that I seen this abuse, it was everywhere."

So she set up a place for women to escape this kind of life in Yonkers, NY, where she is from and where she first saw this violence towards women. FFAWN stands for the Foundation for the Advancement of Women Now and it stands to help all women gain the confidence and skills they need to reach their full potential. Through scholarships, grants, and programs that foster strong self esteem, career development and personal growth, FFAWN is intended to help woman become confident and successful. FFAWN will initially focus its efforts in Yonkers and surrounding communities in Westchester and then expand its scope to include the Greater New York area and, eventually, the entire country.

"As a child, I never saw a confident woman; I only saw women being abused," said Blige, a Yonkers native. "That's why I am here; that's why FFAWN exists. I want every girl and woman who walks through this door to know that she is loved, no matter who is telling her she isn't loved.

GUCCI is also a supporter of Blige's cause. Creative director of Gucci, Frida Gianni is on the board of the PPR Foundation for Women’s Dignity and Rights, said: Mary is an inspiration for us all. She is a woman who really talks from her heart and from her own experiences, and she is a living example for all women in the world. And at the same time, Gucci is a very powerful brand that can communicatre in a very strong way. I thought that together, we could make something very impressive. I think that it's important to show that fashion isn't just about clothes and accessories- it's about being involved with initiative like this one and social responsibility.

Mary has helped design a watch which retails a little under 2 thousand bucks and for every watch that is sold, Gucci donates $100 to FFAWN. If you ask me, for the price of the watch, they could afford to donate a little more than just a hundred bucks, but what do I know?

little ways to make our earth healthier

2009-11-23T21:27:00.000-08:00

Random Fact: recycling just ONE glass bottle saves enough electricity to light a 100-watt bulb for four hours.

...I started thinking about how I was cold and I wanted a heater. Then I just put on a sweatshirt and turned on the fireplace and realized, shut up, you live in southern california- it's never COLD. So then I realized having no heater (and therefore no air conditioner) is actually good besides the fact that I don't have to pay more for my electric; it is earth friendly! yay. I feel so green. I always try to remember to bring my own bags when I go grocery shopping, like good ol' Ellie used to do... but I never remember! Soo I've made a list of ways to be greener

Watch the temperature. Almost half of a home's energy consumption is due to heating and cooling. Besides air temp, watch the water too. Wash clothes in cold water whenever you can- as much as 85% of energy used to machine-wash clothes goes into heating the water.

Hang dry your laundry with a rack or a clothesline and save the large amounts of electric energy that dryers take up.

Aim for 5 minute showers- I am not so good at this one.

Use a water filter (like BRITA) to purify tap water instead of buying bottled water. Not only is bottled water expensive but it generates large amounts of container waste.

Bring a reusable water bottle, preferably aluminum rather than plastic, with you when traveling or at work.

Unplug appliances (like cell phone and computer chargers!) when you aren't using them. Or, use a "smart" power strip that senses when appliances are off and cuts the "phantom" or "vampire" energy use

If you eat meat, aim for at least one meatless meal a week. Meat costs a lot at the store-and it's even more expensive when you consider the related environmental and health costs.

If you like to read, look for your favorite books at libraries instead of buying your own copy. Recently electronic books have become popular. I remember the first time I saw a woman using one on an airplane and I just thought wow that is such a good idea!

If you subscribe to store catalogs- like Victoria's secret or pottery barn- consider doing your browsing online. Deforestation is responsible for 25 percent of all carbon emissions released into the atmosphere, through the burning and cutting of 34 million acres of trees annually. If you are like me and you're sick of opening your mailbox to nothing but advertisements of crap you don't even need, shed the extra 41 pounds of junk mail the average american gets by removing yourself from the direct-mailing lists. Companies like GreenDimes and 41pounds.org can help, and I know it requires a small amount of effort on your part (lord knows I am La-zy) but think about how annoying it is when you check the mail and ALL you get is JUNK!

Americans run through about 100 billion plastic bags per year, using an estimated 12 million barrels of oil. Because petroleum-based plastic isn't biodegradable, it's certain to outlive you by a millennium or at least a century.

So THIS is why my old roomie used to bring her own bags when she went grocery shopping. Keep them in your car if you have trouble remembering them...like I do.

The average home uses twice as much energy as the average car. Any time you have to buy new appliances, look for the ones that are Energy-star rated and watch your electric bill shrink. ALSO when you improve your energy efficiency you can earn tax credit!

Here's the one I hate the most.

Install flourescent lightbulbs - I personally dislike them because the light is so blinding and unpleasant. Unfortunately this is the most easy and effective at the same time so if you're going to do just one thing for the planet, make it the switch to compact fluorescent light bulbs (CFLs). Although they cost several times more upfront than regular incandescent light bulbs, they also last about 10 times longer, which means that for every CFL you screw in, you'll be saving eight incandescent light bulbs from landfill purgatory. Plus, you'll save some serious cash in the long run. Because CFLs use 75 percent less energy, swapping one incandescent bulb for a CFL reduces carbon dioxide by 500 pounds a year; replacing 17 has the equivalent effect of taking one car off the road for a year. Just remember to recycle spent bulbs responsibly - CFLs contain trace amounts of mercury, which although isn't enough to be hazardous to you, could pose a problem in landfills when mercury from multiple bulbs leaches into the ground.

Here is a reaaallly SIMPLE ONE: turn off lights when you leave the room!!!!

Another easy one- pay your bills online !

Use cloth napkins daily instead of paper. Yes it means you have a little extra laundry but at least you don't have to buy them and waste money! Or do what I do, and try half and half... because doing laundry kind of sucks.

If you have old towels or t-shirts, don't throw them out, make them into rags and skip buying paper towels. Make rags out of old towels and t-shirts, and forego buying paper towels.

Avoid using plastic plates and polystyrene cups when throwing a party as these take on average, 500 years to degrade. Try using normal glasses and cups instead.

Turn off your Television and any other appliances if it is not being used, remember that even when put on stand-by, it is still using electricity.

One I am bad at: If you tend to leave the tap running whilst cleaning your teeth or if you are washing the dishes, then stop. By keeping the water running you are using approximately 9 litres every 60 seconds.

Artists I'm loving these days

2009-11-23T21:07:00.000-08:00

Ingrid Michaelson

Sara Bariellas

Feist

16 essential elements of a healthy relationship

2009-11-18T20:50:00.000-08:00

I found this in a book and I know some of them are a little cheesy but I thought it was interesting

1. allowing yourself to be vulnerable, to admit your own weaknesses, and to recognize and openly admit when you are wrong

2. allowing yourself to get in touch with and express a full range of emotions, including anger

3. feeling and expressing love, admiration, and respect for your mate

4. having high self-esteem. **

(side note: I just told my roommate that I think I have low self esteem and she started laughing.)

5. communicating regularly, from the depths of your soul

6. continually bonding through experiences, such as reminiscing about the past, planning for the future, playing and having fun together

7. having intensely emotional sex

8. demonstrating the willingness to address issues and negotiate solutions

9. setting and respecting each other's personal boundaries

10. taking responsibility of your whole life while being supportive of your mate

11. being willing to try new things in life, both with and without your mate

12. recognizing your first signs of resentment and speaking up so that you can constructively address the issue together

13. living so that each of you is an asset to the other's life, instead of a liability

14. making and keeping a long-term commitment to each other

15. assuming the best rather than the worst about your mate without being naive

16. continually reminding each other of your love

transitioning

2009-11-17T01:14:00.000-08:00

At what point do you stop being a child and start being an adult? I suppose this is the best time of my life in the sense that I am young enough to lack the responsibilities that come with finances and families, however also old enough to have the freedom to make my own choices, whether smart or not. I am free. And what have I chose to do with this freedom? At this point not much. But I'm sure I'll find my way. Is it the child in me who doesn't know how to use her new found freedom or is it the more adult part of me who is choosing to take her time and think about things instead of jumping into wherever the wind blows. And it blows a new direction all the time. I guess I have a little bit of both worlds in me but I have to laugh at myself for even thinking I can call myself an adult. I am not an adult! In this world it seems like nobody wants to grow old. Yet young people are completely looked down upon for their youth and are considered stupid, irresponsible, or just plain annoying. There is a bit of ageism against young and old, though we know each secretly aspire to be the other- when we are young all we want to do is grow up and when we get old all we want to do is be young. Or is that right? Because at this point in my life, where I feel neither too young or too old- (though many older than me would still argue that I am practically a baby)- I do not actually seek to grow up or grow down. I want to be where I am right now. I want to enjoy NOT having the 9-5 full time job I so desperately wish I had. I want to enjoy that I don't have groceries, EVER. I want to enjoy not knowing what my future has in store, where I might live who I might meet what career I might one day have...nothing seems to be planned out and for a girl who sure does love to plan, this is strange that I love the no-plan life. I admire a certain someone in my life who is SO go-with-the-flow that it kills me sometimes... I mean, DAMN JUST MAKE A PLAN FOR ONCE PLEASE? But seriously, I have to take a page out of his book (yeah of course its a man) and learn to just let go of control, and let life just take you where it's going to go. It doesn't mean I'm not still dreaming, thinking, wondering...and keeping my options open. But it does mean that I'm not stressing anymore. I'm not sad about highschool, college, or lost friends, nor am I eager to rush into this so-called "adulthood" where there's marriage and babies and all those other words that make this 22 year old girl's ears shudder. I really do like this stage of my life. At one point it might have been: "I don't want to grow up, I'm a toys r us kid" but I guess I am growing up slowly, because apparently Barnes and Noble is the new Toys R Us (though don't try telling that to an 8 year old...she didn't buy it for one second.)

Youth is a beautiful thing and perhaps thats why so many women in "THE OC" (oh gag me) try to look like they're younger with their Botox and plastic surgery and their sense of style, or lack thereof. But as cheesy as it sounds we all know this is true- keeping your heart and your spirits young is what really matters. I love when old people dance. I'm gonna remember that the next time that I'm out and I'm the one acting like an old grandma and not wanting to dance. I might look like an idiot and embarrass myself, but I am going to dance.

50 things women want men to know

2009-11-02T13:54:00.000-08:00

1. Saying I love you immediately before, during, or after sex doesn't count.

2. Real men can drive a stick shift.

3. I will leave if you lie.

4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts)

5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an email from you.

11. I expect you to call me.

12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.

14. I am more forgiving of you than I really should be.

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I am not. (See directly above.)

17. If I'm not having sex with you, I am...A) having a fat day, B) not feeling "connected" to you, C) blackmailing you to get something I want.

18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.

19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items

23. You should never tell me what to do.

24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.

25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

30. I want to be Madonna.

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a shite T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi= more loving.

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you- and for you to recognize this.

37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking...

38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.

39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.

40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

41. I love it when you're sweaty.

42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.

44. I like porn.

45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read.. etc..

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

49. I remember everything about our relationship.

50. You should know all this and more without my telling you.

Health Effects of Soda and Diet Soda

2009-11-02T12:24:00.000-08:00

by Dr. Maoshing Ni

Soft drinks are hard on your health
Soft drinks contain little to no vitamins or other essential nutrients. However, it is what they do contain that is the problem: caffeine, carbonation, simple sugars — or worse, sugar substitutes — and often food additives such as artificial coloring, flavoring, and preservatives.

A lot of research has found that consumption of soft drinks in high quantity, especially by children, is responsible for many health problems that include tooth decay, nutritional depletion, obesity, type-2 diabetes, and heart disease.

Why the sugar in soft drinks isn’t so sweet
Most soft drinks contain a high amount of simple sugars. The USDA recommendation of sugar consumption for a 2,000-calorie diet is a daily allotment of 10 teaspoons of added sugars. Many soft drinks contain more than this amount!

Just why is too much sugar so unhealthy? Well, to start, let's talk about what happens to you as sugar enters your body. When you drink sodas that are packed with simple sugars, the pancreas is called upon to produce and release insulin, a hormone that empties the sugar in your blood stream into all the tissues and cells for usage. The result of overindulging in simple sugar is raised insulin levels. Raised blood insulin levels beyond the norm can lead to depression of the immune system, which in turn weakens your ability to fight disease.

Something else to consider is that most of the excess sugar ends up being stored as fat in your body, which results in weight gain and elevates risk for heart disease and cancer. One study found that when subjects were given refined sugar, their white blood cell count decreased significantly for several hours afterwards. Another study discovered that rats fed a high-sugar diet had a substantially elevated rate of breast cancer when compared to rats on a regular diet.

You may come to the conclusion that diet or sugar-free soda is a better choice than regular soda. However, one study discovered that drinking one or more soft drinks a day — and it didn’t matter whether it was diet or regular — led to a 30% greater chance of weight gain around the belly.

Diet soda is filled with artificial sweeteners such as aspartame, sucralose, or saccharin. These artificial sweeteners pose a threat to your health. Saccharin, for instance, has been found to be carcinogenic, and studies have found that it produced bladder cancer in rats.

Aspartame, commonly known as nutrasweet, is a chemical that stimulates the brain to think the food is sweet. It breaks down into acpartic acid, phenylalanine, and methanol at a temperature of 86 degrees. (Remember, your stomach is somewhere around 98 degrees.) An article put out by the University of Texas found that aspartame has been linked to obesity. The process of stimulating the brain causes more cravings for sweets and leads to carbohydrate loading.

Carbonation depletes calcium
Beverages with bubbles contain phosphoric acid, which can severely deplete the blood calcium levels; calcium is a key component of the bone matrix. With less concentration of calcium over a long time, it can lower deposition rates so that bone mass and density suffer. This means that drinking sodas and carbonated water increases your risk of osteoporosis.

Add in the caffeine usually present in soft drinks, and you are in for even more trouble. Caffeine can deplete the body’s calcium, in addition to stimulating your central nervous system and contributing to stress, a racing mind, and insomnia.

Skip the soda and go for:

• Fresh water
Water is a vital beverage for good health. Each and every cell needs water to perform its essential functions. Since studies show that tap water is filled with contaminants, antibiotics, and a number of other unhealthy substances, consider investing in a quality carbon-based filter for your tap water.

On the go? Try using a stainless steel thermos or glass bottle, filled with filtered water. Enhance the flavor of your water with a refreshing infusion of basil, mint leaves, and a drop of honey.

• Fruit Juice
If you are a juice drinker, try watering down your juice to cut back on the sugar content. Buy a jar of organic 100% juice, especially cranberry, acai, pomegranate, and then dilute three parts filtered water to one part juice. You will get a subtle sweet taste and the benefit of antioxidants. After a couple of weeks, you will no longer miss the sweetness of sugary concentrated juices.

• Tea
Tea gently lifts your energy and has numerous health benefits. Black, green, white, and oolong teas all contain antioxidant polyphenols. In fact, tea ranks as high or higher than many fruits and vegetables on the ORAC scale, the score that measures antioxidant potential of plant-based foods.

Herbal tea does not have the same antioxidant properties, though it is still a great beverage choice with other health benefits, such as inducing calming and relaxing effects.

If tea doesn’t satisfy your sweet tooth, try adding cinnamon or a little honey, which has important health benefits that refined sugar lacks.

boys and high heels

2009-10-18T14:14:00.000-07:00

I am looking at some christian loubiton pumps, dreaming about that which I can't have ($700 shoes, really?) And then my brother asks, "Why are they called pumps?"

(I begin to laugh.)

brother: So I'm serious. Why are those shoes called pumps? In the early 90's there were these basketball shoes called Pumps. There was a basketball on the tongue and you pumped the basketball, so thats why they were called pumps. But seriously why do they call these shoes pumps? Why are you laughing? I want to know!

me: I think I'm going to blog about this.

brother: How do you know if people read your blog?

me: Well if you want to you can become a follower and then it shows.

brother: Well nobody likes being a follower.

where's the nearest liquor store?

2009-10-15T22:52:00.001-07:00

I want a good drink

I want a good cry

and I want to wake up and blame it all on pms

HO FO SHO

2009-10-05T01:09:00.000-07:00

what's with girls/ladies/women/females in general dressing like whores? I was driving home today and I saw a girl walking down the street dressed in some very "night" clothes to say the least. I mean she looked good but I don't know why she looked so skanky. I mean if you are shooting a porno then awesome, you're doing great! But... why you trying so hard girl? I'm feeling the girls who are pretty and keep stuff to the imagination. I don't think I've ever dressed too much like a whore. Maybe when I first realized I had something to fill out my bra I put on a low cut shirt or two but nowadays I realize that if my boobs are hanging out then people are looking at them, not me. I can't understand how you can like that. Or maybe if you live your whole life without boobs.... and then you buy some, and you obviously want everyone to see what you just spent all that money on. I understand. Or maaaybe that girl I saw walking down the street today was an ugly ducking and she just blossomed into her swan body. Maybe she spent her childhood wandering around looking for just ONE person to call her pretty and they never did, and now that she's found a body and makeup and skanky clothes to show off her ASSets.... she has to let everyone see what she's got. All I know is, if I were a guy or a mexican gardner I would have totally whistled in her direction. Just saying.

sex and the City quote #2

2009-10-01T17:05:00.001-07:00

You can tell a man "I hate you" and have the best sex of your life. But if you tell a man "I love you" you might never see him again.

-Samantha

BOOO EMOTIONS

2009-09-29T01:45:00.000-07:00

There is a difference between thinking and feeling. thinking to me would imply using my brain so if I use this brain (keyword: if) then it tells me be patient...you're worrying too much... this is not how to act you're freaking out. how I am feeling is far less rational. my feelings can be nuts sometimes. If only the feelings didn't affect my thinking. 'Cause when that happens, emotional meltdown occurs, in which case, duck and cover.

Feeling like:

I screwed everything up.

I have to make things better

Thinking (which is so muted by feeling):

don't do anything just give it time

if it's legit, he won't quit... ha. god I'm lame.

Wondering:

will he ever care about me the way he used to?

I know in my heart and in my mind that there is more to life than this but sometimes when you love someone or something so much it just consumes you completely. I guess only time will tell.

"you can't hurry love no you just have to wait. they say love don't come easy it's a game of give and take"

2009-09-28T20:48:00.000-07:00

i want to move away.

i wonder how many times i have thought this

Being in Love

2009-09-25T14:09:00.000-07:00

Louann Brizendine, M.D. is a neuropsychiatrist at the University of California, San Franciso. She was previously on the faculty at the Harvard Medical Schol and is a graduate of the Yale University School of Medicine and the University of California, Berkeley, in neurobiology. The following excerpt comes from her book "The Female Brain" (Pages 66-67).

Falling in love is one of the most irrational behaviors or brain states imaginable for both men and women. The brain becomes "illogical" in the throes of new romance, literally blind to the shortcomings of the lover. It is an involuntary state. Passionately being in love or so-called infatuation-love is now a documented brain state. It shares brain circuits with states of obsession, mania, intoxication, thirst, and hunger. It is not an emotion, but it does intensify or decreases other emotions. The being-in-love circuits are primarily a motivation system, which is different from the brain's sex drive area but overlaps with it. This fevered brain activity runs on hormones and neurochemicals such as dopamine, estrogen, oxytocin, and testosterone.

The brain circuits that are activated when we are in love match those of the drug addict desperately craving the next fix. The amygdala- the brain's fear-alert system- and the anterior cingulate cortex- the brains worrying and critical thinking system- are turned way down when the love circuits are running full blast. Much the same things happens when people take Ecstasy: the normal wariness humans have toward strangers is switched off and the love circuits are dialed up. So romantic love is a natural Ecstasy high. The classic symptoms of early love are also similar to the initial effects of drugs such as amphetamines, cocaine, and opiates like heroin, morphine, and OxyContin. These narcotics trigger the brain's reward circuit, causing chemical releases and effects similar to those of romance. In fact, there's some truth to the notion that people can become addicted to love. Romantic partners, especially in the first six months, crave the ecstatic feeling of being together and may feel helplessly dependent on each other. Studies of passionate love show this brain state last for roughly six to eight months. This is such an intense state that the beloved's best interest, well-being, and survival become as important as or more important than one's own.

...During times of physical separation, when touching and caressing is impossible, a deep longing, almost a hunger, for the beloved can set in. Some people don't even realize how bonded or in love they are until they feel this tugging at their heartstrings when the beloved is absent. We are used to thinking of this longing as only psychological, but it's actually physical. The brain is virtually in a drug-withdrawal state. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", your mother would say as you were moaning in pain because he was away. I can remember the early days of dating my husband, when I already knew he was "the one" but he didn't yet. During a brief separation he "decided" we should get married- thank goodness for dopamine and oxytocin withdrawal. His heartstrings finally got the attention of his very self-sufficient and independent male brain, as his friends and family will tell you.

colbie's breakthrough album

2009-09-25T13:09:00.000-07:00

"Runnin' around"

I had to leave you just to realize that I need you

Now I'm changing, I can't take this runnin around baby
I'm runnin around without you baby
I'm runnin around all over town
But I look everywhere and no one compares
Because nothing's as good if I'm without you

"Breakthrough"

Can we try to let it go?
If we don't than we'll never know
I try to break through
But you know that it's up to you
I know that our love can grow
But this damned river needs to flow
I will try to break through
But you know that it's up to you

"Begin Again"

See I look for you in the morning
Cause that's what my mind always calls
And I can't wait to get to the evening
Cause that's when I want you the most

Oh this is not the way that it should end
It's the way it should begin
It's the way it should begin, again
No, I never wanna fall apart,
Never wanna break your heart
Never wanna let you break my own
Yes, I know we've said alot of things
That we probably didn't mean
But it's not too late to take them back
So, before you say you're gonna go
I should probably let you know
That I never knew what I had

Excerpts from the book I'm currently reading

2009-09-20T23:09:00.000-07:00

"...It fascinated me that Europeans could at once be so alike- that they could be so universally bookish and cerebral, and drive small cars, and live in little houses in ancient towns, and love soccer, and be relatively unmaterialistic and law-abiding, and have chilly hotel rooms and cozy and inviting places to eat and drink- and yet be so endlessly, unpredictably different from each other as well. I loved the idea that you could never be sure of anything in Europe."

"...I had an itch to roam. I wanted to wander through Europe, to see movie posters for films that would never come to England, gaze wonderingly at billboards and shop notices full of exotic umlauts and cedillas and No parking-sign o's, hear pop songs that could not by even the most charitable stretch of the imagination be a hit in any country but their own, encounter people whose lives would never again intersect with mine, be hopelessly unfamiliar with everything..."

-Bill Bryson

Neither Here Nor There: Travels through Europe

Things I like to do because "it's freeeeeee"

2009-09-20T03:05:00.001-07:00

Practice Guitar
Read
Lay Out
Practice my cannonball
Climb Trees
Ride Bikes
Go to the gym
blog!
Watch my favorite TV shows
Make videos and send them to people online
Take stupid/funny pictures with amanda on my computer

Better to be pissed off than pissed on

2009-09-20T02:36:00.000-07:00

I'm pissed because I'm not sleeping

...and I'm not sleeping because I'm pissed.

I'm pissed that the economy decided to SUCK BALLS at the time when I want to start a career. That unemployment is lower than it's been in over, what is it, 20 years?

I'm pissed that if I want to go back to school for what I want to study, which is the only thing I ever really wanted to study, its going to take three years just to take my prerequisites before I can even start the graduate program. And within all this time I'm still broke.

I'm pissed that I didn't just stick with the major, that I chose the wrong school, that I stayed for friends who in the end, faded.

I'm pissed that the state doesn't have enough money to accept any new applicants for a year so this gives me a year to just shit around and waste time, jobless and broke.

I'm pissed that I thought I would have a job and now I am living penny to penny trying to scrounge money. I don't know how I'm going to pay for europe let alone rent. and groceries, which i never buy. I just miss shopping. I never get to do that. ugh.

I'm pissed that I cant get a job except now that I kind of have one (?) it's not one I'm proud of and not one that will pay enough or provide enough hours so I still need another job.

I'm pissed that I worked my butt off in school and it was all for nothing because nobody seems to care that you have a degree. The only jobs available are shitty: sales. restaurant. receptionist.

I'm pissed that a certain guy hasn't texted me back all day and I, like an idiot, care. And dwell on this, like it's sooo important.

I'm pissed that even if I work my butt off and have 3 or 4 jobs I'll never have time to have fun and be young and do stuff with friends etc because I will be a work-a-holic JUST to make ends meet.

"Hard times are meant to make you better, not bitter."

oops. got it backwards i guess.

No matter where I look I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I guess I just need to stop bitching and make shit better. Through whatever means necessary.

Sometimes people can help you but there are certain time in life where you gotta figure it out on your own. It can make you or break you. I'm going to keep fighting. I might get knocked out but I'm going to keep getting back up again, no matter how many ass kickings it takes. I will survive! but let me just cuss a lot and be pissed while I'm hanging in there. Honestly though. I can not wait until I can actually have job to be PROUD OF. And I'm extremely disappointed that I can't send my parents somewhere for their 30th anniversary because I have been wanting to do this for years and now it's here and of course I don't have a job. I know money alone doesn't make the world go round but it sure makes life a lot easier.

I just wish I would get that job I interviewed for last wednesday but I'm losing hope.

I should really try to sleep now since I have to be up in about 5 hours.

All I can do is think: Europe: Coming soon, Excited. and try not to think Europe: costs money.

Celebrities I love

2009-09-18T16:45:00.000-07:00

Channing Tatum...

um yes please.

Paul Walker...

My team! ^

Johnny Knoxville

Hot AND funny. I like.

Gerard Butler

mmmm... let's play "what's under your clothes?"

I love wine. wine wine wine.

2009-09-17T00:47:00.000-07:00

Wine is good. I like wine. I'm watching jess get her makeup done right now.

I was thinkin' how people use the words "dick" and "pussy" in a negative context.

like if you're a jerk you are just being a dick, depending on the mood. and if you are scared or just don't do what your friends want you're suddenly a female private part. however, rarely are you a vagina, because thats just getting fancy with it.

Just wondering, when did dick and pussy have to become a bad thing?

They provide a lot of great things. They allow us to relieve ourselves when the bladder is full. From say, a full nights wine. Dicks are good. I mean they give young boys something to play with and men practically obsess over their weiners. I'm sure gay guys like them a lot...and girls get a lot of happiness out of them of course. Then how about pussy. Pussy's give LIFE okay? you just cant beat that shit. and also turn on men. and lezies. but mainly I just wonder, why are just guys usually called both pussy and dick? we rarely call girls a dick or a pussy. I mean its just wrong that we use these body parts as negative things. we should glorify these beautiful things and appreciate the life and pleasure that they provide the human race.

thank you, come again.

AWFF

2009-09-16T18:12:00.000-07:00

I wish I could go to this!

http://www.awff.org/index.html

It's not just for airplanes

2009-09-12T01:41:00.001-07:00

I don't love gingers but I love ginger ale.

just trying to sleep

2009-09-12T01:28:00.000-07:00

I can hear the people who live above me having sex

I can also hear the people down the hall doing it too.

It's like freshman year of college all over again.

well, at least this reminded me to take my pill.

Sex and the City quote #1

2009-09-12T00:17:00.000-07:00

"I love the stock market... a room full of screaming sweaty trying to get it up"

- Samantha

"Will the following tools please step forward"

2009-09-11T00:57:00.000-07:00

This isn't about the train wreck of a TV show on Vh1, which I admit, I do sometimes watch. (I love bad TV, okay?) No, it is actually about the douche bags I know. This is a shout out to them. Hey boys! I know none of them would read my blog anyway so I'll proceed to talk my shit. Anyway...

A moment ago I was thinking about how I suddenly have found this awesome thing I like to call self-discipline, and I'm going to go to bed early for once. (Midnight = early) Well now it's 1:00 as I write this and I realize I don't have the discipline I would like to, I never have...maybe one day I will. But when it comes to basic common sense rather than just going to bed at a decent hour- well on that I can make a good judgement.

For example: When a certain Tooly McToolbag texts me late at night and tells me he wants me to come over, there's no way in hell that I would. The battle in my mind is over how to say no. I could have fun just ignoring him. Make him feel stupid when he acts stupid. On the other hand, the blunt girl I am just wants to say "sorry honey I'm not your booty call, try someone else." After beginning to text the latter, I chose the former; I said nothing. And I would hope every girl can spot a douche bag when she sees one and would do the same in my situation. Here's some advice all the toolbags out there: Mr. Tool, before ignoring you, I ask if you are intoxicated and you openly admit yes. A respectable girl does not find it charming when you basically spell out that you're drunk and horny. Don't think for a moment that she is not going to find that appealing and say oh yeah sure I'd love to come over and be THAT girl.... oh god...Get Real.

oh random thought... isn't there a website that women post warnings of douchebags out there? I'd love to just make an "America's least wanted" blog and put up all the pictures of guys to avoid.

Miracles

2009-09-09T22:25:00.000-07:00

This image was on a light pink t-shirt i bought when I was 13 at summer camp. I thought it was cute and had no idea there was an actual cause behind the phrase. I remember wearing it for photo day in 8th grade, and later hating the picture because I always smiled closed mouth in a way to not reveal my braces. I wonder what happened to that shirt...

Anyway, I knew I could use some fresh air to breathe and just get by right now. I needed life to cut me a break and I needed nothing other than a miracle. I know my miracle might seem small to you when you find out what it is but I feel extremely blessed, fortunate, lucky... I haven't expressed the thanks that is due to the people who have provided me with this blessing but I will have to make sure to show my appreciation in full extent. I don't have money right now and I don't have a job to make money, but I am trying my best to find a job and as soon as I do I'm paying back the money I am borrowing to go on a little euro trip. I am so excited. Life has just gotten ten times better with this positive thing to look forward to and think about and it just gives me so much more motivation to find a job.

expect a miracle.com

a place in this world

2009-09-07T12:22:00.000-07:00

I don't know what I want

so don't ask me

because I'm still trying to figure it out

don't know what's down this road

I'm just walking

trying to see through the rain coming down

even though I'm not the only one

who feels the way I do

I'm alone on my own and thats all I know

I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, but life goes on

I'm just a girl trying to find a place in this world

Next time you think your life sucks, just remember it could be worse. You could be her:

2009-09-06T02:56:00.000-07:00

As annoying as it is to hear about all the time, be thankful you don't have this woman's life.

First of all, she pops out 6 kids at one time, on top of already having twins.

She can't work a job since she has to take care of her kids

Now people say she's crazy but maybe its cuz she has EIGHT (young) KIDS!?

And when her husband couldn't stand her crazy ways, he started cheating

So not only does she have 8 kids but her husband cheats everyone knows and they have to keep making tv shows because she still can't work a job and everyone talks shit when they don't even know her or their situation.

Life is hard enough raising 8 kids, especially alone, but on top of that she's got to deal with being heartbroken, PLUS deal with divorce bullshit, PLUS the nation gets to watch it all and pass their judgement, PLUS stupid magazines tear her apart and make her look like such a crazy woman and bad mother. BAD MOTHER. that just pisses me off. That is the biggest slap in the face to her, but nobody is going around talking about how Jon is a bad father. Which if you think about it, some role model eh? The kids will find out what happened if they don't already know. This is the stupidest "scandal" ever but all I can say is you should thank god you are not kate gosselin. her life really sucks if you ask me.

a little nostalgia never hurt anyone

2009-09-05T22:35:00.001-07:00

Sometimes when I look at pictures from the past, I get nostalgic and a little bummed that things change and I don't get to see the same people anymore. Things change and people change. People move, or sometimes just move on. Sometimes you realize things were never what you thought they were. But no matter why we part, I always look back and miss those good times and the people in the pictures. So these are a few happy memories that are bittersweet to me, from various events.

Life's so much different for me these days. And I know it is for all of us. But I'll never forget the great times.

Creme Brulle

2009-09-05T22:26:00.000-07:00

Oh how I love thee.

Ode to thee

Creme Brulle

You may be bad for me

But you are so good

I wish I could go to culinary school for many reasons but one huge reason would be to learn how to make the best creme brulle in the world. I would perfect the art.

I think my favorite one is from Opah, but I love when a restaurant flames it for you. This picture's from when I was in Paris and I ate creme brulle literally every night. (I'm not a TOTAL fatty though- I split it with someone most of the time)

Places I want to go

2009-09-05T15:45:00.000-07:00

Fiji
Italy (all over)
London
Greece (mostly Santorini)
New Zealand
South Africa
Belize
Bali
Hawaii (yep I've never been)
Alaska
Canada (hahaha yeah right)

Nights are the worst

2009-09-04T00:12:00.000-07:00

Quitting anything is never easy.

We quit (for reals); one week ago today.

I've been pretty good most days, it's just these nights.

My bed seems a lot bigger.

The nights are definitely the hardest.

I wish we could say we ended on bad terms, that way maybe it would be easier to move on if I were angry. I know this whole thing is a blessing in disguise because I should use this point in my life to make it about "me" not "we". Even though it makes sense though, it's hard to not get a little emotional when I'm trying to sleep, like now. It's hard to turn off my brain, and I feel so alone because I didn't ever have to spend too many nights alone. And the nights I was alone, I appreciated being able to sprawl out in my bed and hog the covers, just knowing that soon enough I would be sleeping next to him again. Above all I just miss my best friend. Before I go any further digging myself a 6 foot deep hole of sad thoughts, I'm just going to stop and tell myself what I need someone to be telling me:

"They say you don't know what you've got until its gone. But you also don't know what's coming until it gets there."

Letting go of anyone or anything is hard. Accepting that something is gone when you just don't want to, because it meant so much to you... it's never easy. But the sooner I let go, the sooner I get to experience what life has in store for me. This morning when I woke up I thought to myself, I am going to make today a beautiful day. And today was good. Er, minus stabbing myself in the hand, and the splinter in my foot, and our house almost catching on fire... It was still a good day. Now it's just these nights! It's like if I'm not drunk I won't pass out until 3am or later. Luckily I can blog to keep myself busy on a lonely night like tonight. Truth be told, I may be just using Mr. Blog here as a rebound-or we could have a lasting fruitful relationship, who knows. This morning I decided to pick myself up and get back in the ring of life, (which has been kicking my ass by the way) and for some reason, I decided that this blog is going to be a part of my inner strengthening. A sort of Yoga for the mind, if you will. Although... yoga is all about turning off your brain and Mr. Blog here is all for letting me stretch my mind around whatever I wish. So, my new boyfriend here, Mr. Blog, he would let me talk ALL night if I wanted to. But truth be told, Im sick of thinking. Sick of feelings. Ready for sleeping. Ready for all that life has to offer. The world is my oyster. (More play-on-words with the oyster soon to come)

I know great things are on the way for me. Sooner or later. But..... hopefully sooner please?

Steam Room

2009-09-03T18:09:00.001-07:00

I turned the nob to 20 minutes, put on a towel and opened the door. My eyes fell upon the silver faucet-like device which lets out the steam. I noticed as the steam spread to take over the room slowly I started to feel like I was a jew in a gas chamber during ww2. It's always been so beyond my imagination how that could have ever happened... How people thought it was okay to shove groups of naked people into a room and listen to the sounds of them crying for help. Were workers at Nazi concentration traps as screwed up as Adolph? When they went home at night did they cry or ask god for forgiveness? Or is it possible that they actually could believe they were doing something good?

My mind wandered about what it would feel like to be in a gas chamber until I realized, hey, crazy, you're in a steam room. Why I am in here, I'm not sure. I think it's supposed to be good for the skin? Opens up your pores? Beats me. The first time I stepped into one I was freaking out and couldn't take it for more than a minute but today I was enjoying it more. Still not sure of the point of them but I like to play a game called lets see how long I can stay in here. I wondered if someone could die if they got locked in there. Or what if I fell asleep? It was hot and steamy, I was sans clothes, my skin was moist... it felt kind of like I just had great sex, minus the orgasm.

So I still don't fully understand the purpose of the steam room, other than to remind me how long it's been since I've had great sex.

starting over again

2009-09-03T12:51:00.000-07:00

thank you, brother, for this one

Because when push comes to shove

you taste what you're made of

you might bend til you break

'cause its all you can take

on your knees you look up

decide you've had enough

you get mad, you get strong

wipe your hands and get up

then you stand

everytime you get up and get back in the race

one more small piece of you starts to fall into place

here's to the first piece