16 essential elements of a healthy relationship

I found this in a book and I know some of them are a little cheesy but I thought it was interesting

1. allowing yourself to be vulnerable, to admit your own weaknesses, and to recognize and openly admit when you are wrong

2. allowing yourself to get in touch with and express a full range of emotions, including anger

3. feeling and expressing love, admiration, and respect for your mate

4. having high self-esteem. **

(side note: I just told my roommate that I think I have low self esteem and she started laughing.)

5. communicating regularly, from the depths of your soul

6. continually bonding through experiences, such as reminiscing about the past, planning for the future, playing and having fun together

7. having intensely emotional sex

8. demonstrating the willingness to address issues and negotiate solutions

9. setting and respecting each other's personal boundaries

10. taking responsibility of your whole life while being supportive of your mate

11. being willing to try new things in life, both with and without your mate

12. recognizing your first signs of resentment and speaking up so that you can constructively address the issue together

13. living so that each of you is an asset to the other's life, instead of a liability

14. making and keeping a long-term commitment to each other

15. assuming the best rather than the worst about your mate without being naive

16. continually reminding each other of your love

transitioning

At what point do you stop being a child and start being an adult? I suppose this is the best time of my life in the sense that I am young enough to lack the responsibilities that come with finances and families, however also old enough to have the freedom to make my own choices, whether smart or not. I am free. And what have I chose to do with this freedom? At this point not much. But I'm sure I'll find my way. Is it the child in me who doesn't know how to use her new found freedom or is it the more adult part of me who is choosing to take her time and think about things instead of jumping into wherever the wind blows. And it blows a new direction all the time. I guess I have a little bit of both worlds in me but I have to laugh at myself for even thinking I can call myself an adult. I am not an adult! In this world it seems like nobody wants to grow old. Yet young people are completely looked down upon for their youth and are considered stupid, irresponsible, or just plain annoying. There is a bit of ageism against young and old, though we know each secretly aspire to be the other- when we are young all we want to do is grow up and when we get old all we want to do is be young. Or is that right? Because at this point in my life, where I feel neither too young or too old- (though many older than me would still argue that I am practically a baby)- I do not actually seek to grow up or grow down. I want to be where I am right now. I want to enjoy NOT having the 9-5 full time job I so desperately wish I had. I want to enjoy that I don't have groceries, EVER. I want to enjoy not knowing what my future has in store, where I might live who I might meet what career I might one day have...nothing seems to be planned out and for a girl who sure does love to plan, this is strange that I love the no-plan life. I admire a certain someone in my life who is SO go-with-the-flow that it kills me sometimes... I mean, DAMN JUST MAKE A PLAN FOR ONCE PLEASE? But seriously, I have to take a page out of his book (yeah of course its a man) and learn to just let go of control, and let life just take you where it's going to go. It doesn't mean I'm not still dreaming, thinking, wondering...and keeping my options open. But it does mean that I'm not stressing anymore. I'm not sad about highschool, college, or lost friends, nor am I eager to rush into this so-called "adulthood" where there's marriage and babies and all those other words that make this 22 year old girl's ears shudder. I really do like this stage of my life. At one point it might have been: "I don't want to grow up, I'm a toys r us kid" but I guess I am growing up slowly, because apparently Barnes and Noble is the new Toys R Us (though don't try telling that to an 8 year old...she didn't buy it for one second.)

Youth is a beautiful thing and perhaps thats why so many women in "THE OC" (oh gag me) try to look like they're younger with their Botox and plastic surgery and their sense of style, or lack thereof. But as cheesy as it sounds we all know this is true- keeping your heart and your spirits young is what really matters. I love when old people dance. I'm gonna remember that the next time that I'm out and I'm the one acting like an old grandma and not wanting to dance. I might look like an idiot and embarrass myself, but I am going to dance.

50 things women want men to know

1. Saying I love you immediately before, during, or after sex doesn't count.

2. Real men can drive a stick shift.

3. I will leave if you lie.

4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts)

5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an email from you.

11. I expect you to call me.

12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.

14. I am more forgiving of you than I really should be.

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I am not. (See directly above.)

17. If I'm not having sex with you, I am...A) having a fat day, B) not feeling "connected" to you, C) blackmailing you to get something I want.

18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.

19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items

23. You should never tell me what to do.

24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.

25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

30. I want to be Madonna.

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a shite T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi= more loving.

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you- and for you to recognize this.

37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking...

38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.

39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.

40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

41. I love it when you're sweaty.

42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.

44. I like porn.

45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read.. etc..

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

49. I remember everything about our relationship.

50. You should know all this and more without my telling you.

Health Effects of Soda and Diet Soda

by Dr. Maoshing Ni

Soft drinks are hard on your health
Soft drinks contain little to no vitamins or other essential nutrients. However, it is what they do contain that is the problem: caffeine, carbonation, simple sugars — or worse, sugar substitutes — and often food additives such as artificial coloring, flavoring, and preservatives.

A lot of research has found that consumption of soft drinks in high quantity, especially by children, is responsible for many health problems that include tooth decay, nutritional depletion, obesity, type-2 diabetes, and heart disease.

Why the sugar in soft drinks isn’t so sweet
Most soft drinks contain a high amount of simple sugars. The USDA recommendation of sugar consumption for a 2,000-calorie diet is a daily allotment of 10 teaspoons of added sugars. Many soft drinks contain more than this amount!

Just why is too much sugar so unhealthy? Well, to start, let's talk about what happens to you as sugar enters your body. When you drink sodas that are packed with simple sugars, the pancreas is called upon to produce and release insulin, a hormone that empties the sugar in your blood stream into all the tissues and cells for usage. The result of overindulging in simple sugar is raised insulin levels. Raised blood insulin levels beyond the norm can lead to depression of the immune system, which in turn weakens your ability to fight disease.

Something else to consider is that most of the excess sugar ends up being stored as fat in your body, which results in weight gain and elevates risk for heart disease and cancer. One study found that when subjects were given refined sugar, their white blood cell count decreased significantly for several hours afterwards. Another study discovered that rats fed a high-sugar diet had a substantially elevated rate of breast cancer when compared to rats on a regular diet.

You may come to the conclusion that diet or sugar-free soda is a better choice than regular soda. However, one study discovered that drinking one or more soft drinks a day — and it didn’t matter whether it was diet or regular — led to a 30% greater chance of weight gain around the belly.

Diet soda is filled with artificial sweeteners such as aspartame, sucralose, or saccharin. These artificial sweeteners pose a threat to your health. Saccharin, for instance, has been found to be carcinogenic, and studies have found that it produced bladder cancer in rats.

Aspartame, commonly known as nutrasweet, is a chemical that stimulates the brain to think the food is sweet. It breaks down into acpartic acid, phenylalanine, and methanol at a temperature of 86 degrees. (Remember, your stomach is somewhere around 98 degrees.) An article put out by the University of Texas found that aspartame has been linked to obesity. The process of stimulating the brain causes more cravings for sweets and leads to carbohydrate loading.

Carbonation depletes calcium
Beverages with bubbles contain phosphoric acid, which can severely deplete the blood calcium levels; calcium is a key component of the bone matrix. With less concentration of calcium over a long time, it can lower deposition rates so that bone mass and density suffer. This means that drinking sodas and carbonated water increases your risk of osteoporosis.

Add in the caffeine usually present in soft drinks, and you are in for even more trouble. Caffeine can deplete the body’s calcium, in addition to stimulating your central nervous system and contributing to stress, a racing mind, and insomnia.

Skip the soda and go for:

• Fresh water
Water is a vital beverage for good health. Each and every cell needs water to perform its essential functions. Since studies show that tap water is filled with contaminants, antibiotics, and a number of other unhealthy substances, consider investing in a quality carbon-based filter for your tap water.

On the go? Try using a stainless steel thermos or glass bottle, filled with filtered water. Enhance the flavor of your water with a refreshing infusion of basil, mint leaves, and a drop of honey.

• Fruit Juice
If you are a juice drinker, try watering down your juice to cut back on the sugar content. Buy a jar of organic 100% juice, especially cranberry, acai, pomegranate, and then dilute three parts filtered water to one part juice. You will get a subtle sweet taste and the benefit of antioxidants. After a couple of weeks, you will no longer miss the sweetness of sugary concentrated juices.

• Tea
Tea gently lifts your energy and has numerous health benefits. Black, green, white, and oolong teas all contain antioxidant polyphenols. In fact, tea ranks as high or higher than many fruits and vegetables on the ORAC scale, the score that measures antioxidant potential of plant-based foods.

Herbal tea does not have the same antioxidant properties, though it is still a great beverage choice with other health benefits, such as inducing calming and relaxing effects.

If tea doesn’t satisfy your sweet tooth, try adding cinnamon or a little honey, which has important health benefits that refined sugar lacks.

boys and high heels

I am looking at some christian loubiton pumps, dreaming about that which I can't have ($700 shoes, really?) And then my brother asks, "Why are they called pumps?"

(I begin to laugh.)

brother: So I'm serious. Why are those shoes called pumps? In the early 90's there were these basketball shoes called Pumps. There was a basketball on the tongue and you pumped the basketball, so thats why they were called pumps. But seriously why do they call these shoes pumps? Why are you laughing? I want to know!

me: I think I'm going to blog about this.

brother: How do you know if people read your blog?

me: Well if you want to you can become a follower and then it shows.

brother: Well nobody likes being a follower.

HO FO SHO

what's with girls/ladies/women/females in general dressing like whores? I was driving home today and I saw a girl walking down the street dressed in some very "night" clothes to say the least. I mean she looked good but I don't know why she looked so skanky. I mean if you are shooting a porno then awesome, you're doing great! But... why you trying so hard girl? I'm feeling the girls who are pretty and keep stuff to the imagination. I don't think I've ever dressed too much like a whore. Maybe when I first realized I had something to fill out my bra I put on a low cut shirt or two but nowadays I realize that if my boobs are hanging out then people are looking at them, not me. I can't understand how you can like that. Or maybe if you live your whole life without boobs.... and then you buy some, and you obviously want everyone to see what you just spent all that money on. I understand. Or maaaybe that girl I saw walking down the street today was an ugly ducking and she just blossomed into her swan body. Maybe she spent her childhood wandering around looking for just ONE person to call her pretty and they never did, and now that she's found a body and makeup and skanky clothes to show off her ASSets.... she has to let everyone see what she's got. All I know is, if I were a guy or a mexican gardner I would have totally whistled in her direction. Just saying.

sex and the City quote #2

You can tell a man "I hate you" and have the best sex of your life. But if you tell a man "I love you" you might never see him again.

-Samantha