Being in Love

Louann Brizendine, M.D. is a neuropsychiatrist at the University of California, San Franciso. She was previously on the faculty at the Harvard Medical Schol and is a graduate of the Yale University School of Medicine and the University of California, Berkeley, in neurobiology. The following excerpt comes from her book "The Female Brain" (Pages 66-67).

Falling in love is one of the most irrational behaviors or brain states imaginable for both men and women. The brain becomes "illogical" in the throes of new romance, literally blind to the shortcomings of the lover. It is an involuntary state. Passionately being in love or so-called infatuation-love is now a documented brain state. It shares brain circuits with states of obsession, mania, intoxication, thirst, and hunger. It is not an emotion, but it does intensify or decreases other emotions. The being-in-love circuits are primarily a motivation system, which is different from the brain's sex drive area but overlaps with it. This fevered brain activity runs on hormones and neurochemicals such as dopamine, estrogen, oxytocin, and testosterone. 

The brain circuits that are activated when we are in love match those of the drug addict desperately craving the next fix. The amygdala- the brain's fear-alert system- and the anterior cingulate cortex- the brains worrying and critical thinking system- are turned way down when the love circuits are running full blast. Much the same things happens when people take Ecstasy: the normal wariness humans have toward strangers is switched off and the love circuits are dialed up. So romantic love is a natural Ecstasy high. The classic symptoms of early love are also similar to the initial effects of drugs such as amphetamines, cocaine, and opiates like heroin, morphine, and OxyContin. These narcotics  trigger the brain's reward circuit, causing chemical releases and effects similar to those of romance. In fact, there's some truth to the notion that people can become addicted to love. Romantic partners, especially in the first six months, crave the ecstatic feeling of being together and may feel helplessly dependent on each other. Studies of passionate love show this brain state last for roughly six to eight months. This is such an intense state that the beloved's best interest, well-being, and survival become as important as or more important than one's own. 

...During times of physical separation, when touching and caressing is impossible, a deep longing, almost a hunger, for the beloved can set in. Some people don't even realize how bonded or in love they are until they feel this tugging at their heartstrings when the beloved is absent. We are used to thinking of this longing as only psychological, but it's actually physical. The brain is virtually in a drug-withdrawal state. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", your mother would say as you were moaning in pain because he was away. I can remember the early days of dating my husband, when I already knew he was "the one" but he didn't yet. During a brief separation he "decided" we should get married- thank goodness for dopamine and oxytocin withdrawal. His heartstrings finally got the attention of his very self-sufficient and independent male brain, as his friends and family will tell you. 

Excerpts from the book I'm currently reading

"...It fascinated me that Europeans could at once be so alike- that they could be so universally bookish and cerebral, and drive small cars, and live in little houses in ancient towns, and love soccer, and be relatively unmaterialistic and law-abiding, and have chilly hotel rooms and cozy and inviting places to eat and drink- and yet be so endlessly, unpredictably different from each other as well. I loved the idea that you could never be sure of anything in Europe."

"...I had an itch to roam. I wanted to wander through Europe, to see movie posters for films that would never come to England, gaze wonderingly at billboards and shop notices full of exotic umlauts and cedillas and No parking-sign o's, hear pop songs that could not by even the most charitable stretch of the imagination be a hit in any country but their own, encounter people whose lives would never again intersect with mine, be hopelessly unfamiliar with everything..."

-Bill Bryson

Neither Here Nor There: Travels through Europe

Things I like to do because "it's freeeeeee"

• Practice Guitar
  
• Read
  
• Lay Out
  
• Practice my cannonball
  
• Climb Trees
  
• Ride Bikes
  
• Go to the gym
  
• blog!
  
• Watch my favorite TV shows
• Make videos and send them to people online
• Take stupid/funny pictures with amanda on my computer

Better to be pissed off than pissed on

I'm pissed because I'm not sleeping

...and I'm not sleeping because I'm pissed.

I'm pissed that the economy decided to SUCK BALLS at the time when I want to start a career. That unemployment is lower than it's been in over, what is it, 20 years? 

I'm pissed that if I want to go back to school for what I want to study, which is the only thing I ever really wanted to study, its going to take three years just to take my prerequisites before I can even start the graduate program. And within all this time I'm still broke.

I'm pissed that I didn't just stick with the major, that I chose the wrong school, that I stayed for friends who in the end, faded.

I'm pissed that the state doesn't have enough money to accept any new applicants for a year so this gives me a year to just shit around and waste time, jobless and broke.

I'm pissed that I thought I would have a job and now I am living penny to penny trying to scrounge money. I don't know how I'm going to pay for europe let alone rent. and groceries, which i never buy. I just miss shopping. I never get to do that. ugh.

I'm pissed that I cant get a job except now that I kind of have one (?) it's not one I'm proud of and not one that will pay enough or provide enough hours so I still need another job.

I'm pissed that I worked my butt off in school and it was all for nothing because nobody seems to care that you have a degree. The only jobs available are shitty: sales. restaurant. receptionist.

I'm pissed that a certain guy hasn't texted me back all day and I, like an idiot, care. And dwell on this, like it's sooo important.

I'm pissed that even if I work my butt off and have 3 or 4 jobs I'll never have time to have fun and be young and do stuff with friends etc because I will be a work-a-holic JUST to make ends meet. 

"Hard times are meant to make you better, not bitter." 

oops. got it backwards i guess. 

No matter where I look I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. 

I guess I just need to stop bitching and make shit better. Through whatever means necessary.

Sometimes people can help you but there are certain time in life where you gotta figure it out on your own. It can make you or break you. I'm going to keep fighting. I might get knocked out but I'm going to keep getting back up again, no matter how many ass kickings it takes. I will survive! but let me just cuss a lot and be pissed while I'm hanging in there. Honestly though. I can not wait until I can actually have job to be PROUD OF. And I'm extremely disappointed that I can't send my parents somewhere for their 30th anniversary because I have been wanting to do this for years and now it's here and of course I don't have a job. I know money alone doesn't make the world go round but it sure makes life a lot easier. 

I just wish I would get that job I interviewed for last wednesday but I'm losing hope.

I should really try to sleep now since I have to be up in about 5 hours.

All I can do is think: Europe: Coming soon, Excited. and try not to think Europe: costs money. 

Celebrities I love

Channing Tatum...

um yes please.

Paul Walker...

My team! ^

Johnny Knoxville

Hot AND funny. I like.

Gerard Butler

mmmm... let's play "what's under your clothes?"

I love wine. wine wine wine.

Wine is good. I like wine. I'm watching jess get her makeup done right now. 

I was thinkin' how people use the words "dick" and "pussy" in a negative context.

like if you're a jerk you are just being a dick, depending on the mood. and if you are scared or just don't do what your friends want you're suddenly a female private part. however, rarely are you a vagina, because thats just getting fancy with it. 

Just wondering, when did dick and pussy have to become a bad thing?

They provide a lot of great things. They allow us to relieve ourselves when the bladder is full. From say, a full nights wine. Dicks are good. I mean they give young boys something to play with and men practically obsess over their weiners. I'm sure gay guys like them a lot...and girls get a lot of happiness out of them of course. Then how about pussy. Pussy's give LIFE okay? you just cant beat that shit. and also turn on men. and lezies. but mainly I just wonder, why are just guys usually called both pussy and dick? we rarely call girls a dick or a pussy. I mean its just wrong that we use these body parts as negative things. we should glorify these beautiful things and appreciate the life and pleasure that they provide the human race.

thank you, come again.

AWFF

I wish I could go to this!

http://www.awff.org/index.html

It's not just for airplanes

I don't love gingers but I love ginger ale.

just trying to sleep

I can hear the people who live above me having sex

I can also hear the people down the hall doing it too. 

It's like freshman year of college all over again.

well, at least this reminded me to take my pill. 

Sex and the City quote #1

"I love the stock market... a room full of screaming sweaty trying to get it up"

- Samantha

"Will the following tools please step forward"

This isn't about the train wreck of a TV show on Vh1, which I admit, I do sometimes watch. (I love bad TV, okay?) No, it is actually about the douche bags I know. This is a shout out to them. Hey boys! I know none of them would read my blog anyway so I'll proceed to talk my shit. Anyway...

A moment ago I was thinking about how I suddenly have found this awesome thing I like to call self-discipline, and I'm going to go to bed early for once. (Midnight = early) Well now it's 1:00 as I write this and I realize I don't have the discipline I would like to, I never have...maybe one day I will. But when it comes to basic common sense rather than just going to bed at a decent hour- well on that I can make a good judgement. 

For example: When a certain Tooly McToolbag texts me late at night and tells me he wants me to come over, there's no way in hell that I would. The battle in my mind is over how to say no. I could have fun just ignoring him. Make him feel stupid when he acts stupid. On the other hand, the blunt girl I am just wants to say "sorry honey I'm not your booty call, try someone else." After beginning to text the latter, I chose the former; I said nothing. And I would hope every girl can spot a douche bag when she sees one and would do the same in my situation. Here's some advice all the toolbags out there: Mr. Tool, before ignoring you, I ask if you are intoxicated and you openly admit yes. A respectable girl does not find it charming when you basically spell out that you're drunk and horny. Don't think for a moment that she is not going to find that appealing and say oh yeah sure I'd love to come over and be THAT girl.... oh god...Get Real.

oh random thought... isn't there a website that women post warnings of douchebags out there? I'd love to just make an "America's least wanted" blog and put up all the pictures of guys to avoid.

Miracles

This image was on a light pink t-shirt i bought when I was 13 at summer camp. I thought it was cute and had no idea there was an actual cause behind the phrase. I remember wearing it for photo day in 8th grade, and later hating the picture because I always smiled closed mouth in a way to not reveal my braces. I wonder what happened to that shirt... 

Anyway, I knew I could use some fresh air to breathe and just get by right now. I needed life to cut me a break and I needed nothing other than a miracle. I know my miracle might seem small to you when you find out what it is but I feel extremely blessed, fortunate, lucky... I haven't expressed the thanks that is due to the people who have provided me with this blessing but I will have to make sure to show my appreciation in full extent. I don't have money right now and I don't have a job to make money, but I am trying my best to find a job and as soon as I do I'm paying back the money I am borrowing to go on a little euro trip. I am so excited. Life has just gotten ten times better with this positive thing to look forward to and think about and it just gives me so much more motivation to find a job. 

expect a miracle.com

a place in this world

I don't know what I want

so don't ask me

because I'm still trying to figure it out

don't know what's down this road

I'm just walking

trying to see through the rain coming down

even though I'm not the only one 

who feels the way I do

I'm alone on my own and thats all I know

I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, but life goes on

I'm just a girl trying to find a place in this world

Next time you think your life sucks, just remember it could be worse. You could be her:

As annoying as it is to hear about all the time, be thankful you don't have this woman's life. 

First of all, she pops out 6 kids at one time, on top of already having twins. 

She can't work a job since she has to take care of her kids

Now people say she's crazy but maybe its cuz she has EIGHT (young) KIDS!? 

And when her husband couldn't stand her crazy ways, he started cheating 

So not only does she have 8 kids but her husband cheats everyone knows and they have to keep making tv shows because she still can't work a job and everyone talks shit when they don't even know her or their situation.

Life is hard enough raising 8 kids, especially alone, but on top of that she's got to deal with being heartbroken, PLUS deal with divorce bullshit, PLUS the nation gets to watch it all and pass their judgement, PLUS stupid magazines tear her apart and make her look like such a crazy woman and bad mother. BAD MOTHER. that just pisses me off. That is the biggest slap in the face to her, but nobody is going around talking about how Jon is a bad father. Which if you think about it, some role model eh? The kids will find out what happened if they don't already know. This is the stupidest "scandal" ever but all I can say is you should thank god you are not kate gosselin. her life really sucks if you ask me. 

a little nostalgia never hurt anyone

Sometimes when I look at pictures from the past, I get nostalgic and a little bummed that things change and I don't get to see the same people anymore. Things change and people change. People move, or sometimes just move on. Sometimes you realize things were never what you thought they were. But no matter why we part, I always look back and miss those good times and the people in the pictures. So these are a few happy memories that are bittersweet to me, from various events. 

Life's so much different for me these days. And I know it is for all of us. But I'll never forget the great times.

Creme Brulle

Oh how I love thee. 

Ode to thee

Creme Brulle

You may be bad for me

But you are so good

I wish I could go to culinary school for many reasons but one huge reason would be to learn how to make the best creme brulle in the world. I would perfect the art.

I think my favorite one is from Opah, but I love when a restaurant flames it for you. This picture's from when I was in Paris and I ate creme brulle literally every night. (I'm not a TOTAL fatty though- I split it with someone most of the time) 

Places I want to go

• Fiji
• Italy (all over)
• London
• Greece (mostly Santorini)
• New Zealand
• South Africa
• Belize
• Bali
• Hawaii (yep I've never been)
• Alaska
• Canada (hahaha yeah right)

Nights are the worst

Quitting anything is never easy.

We quit (for reals); one week ago today. 

I've been pretty good most days, it's just these nights.

My bed seems a lot bigger.

The nights are definitely the hardest.

I wish we could say we ended on bad terms, that way maybe it would be easier to move on if I were angry. I know this whole thing is a blessing in disguise because I should use this point in my life to make it about "me" not "we". Even though it makes sense though, it's hard to not get a little emotional when I'm trying to sleep, like now. It's hard to turn off my brain, and I feel so alone because I didn't ever have to spend too many nights alone. And the nights I was alone, I appreciated being able to sprawl out in my bed and hog the covers, just knowing that soon enough I would be sleeping next to him again. Above all I just miss my best friend. Before I go any further digging myself a 6 foot deep hole of sad thoughts, I'm just going to stop and tell myself what I need someone to be telling me:

"They say you don't know what you've got until its gone. But you also don't know what's coming until it gets there."

Letting go of anyone or anything is hard. Accepting that something is gone when you just don't want to, because it meant so much to you... it's never easy. But the sooner I let go, the sooner I get to experience what life has in store for me. This morning when I woke up I thought to myself, I am going to make today a beautiful day. And today was good. Er, minus stabbing myself in the hand, and the splinter in my foot, and our house almost catching on fire... It was still a good day. Now it's just these nights! It's like if I'm not drunk I won't pass out until 3am or later. Luckily I can blog to keep myself busy on a lonely night like tonight. Truth be told, I may be just using Mr. Blog here as a rebound-or we could have a lasting fruitful relationship, who knows. This morning I decided to pick myself up and get back in the ring of life, (which has been kicking my ass by the way) and for some reason, I decided that this blog is going to be a part of my inner strengthening. A sort of Yoga for the mind, if you will. Although... yoga is all about turning off your brain and Mr. Blog here is all for letting me stretch my mind around whatever I wish. So, my new boyfriend here, Mr. Blog, he would let me talk ALL night if I wanted to. But truth be told, Im sick of thinking. Sick of feelings. Ready for sleeping. Ready for all that life has to offer. The world is my oyster. (More play-on-words with the oyster soon to come)

I know great things are on the way for me. Sooner or later. But..... hopefully sooner please?

Steam Room

I turned the nob to 20 minutes, put on a towel and opened the door. My eyes fell upon the silver faucet-like device which lets out the steam. I noticed as the steam spread to take over the room slowly I started to feel like I was a jew in a gas chamber during ww2. It's always been so beyond my imagination how that could have ever happened... How people thought it was okay to shove groups of naked people into a room and listen to the sounds of them crying for help. Were workers at Nazi concentration traps as screwed up as Adolph? When they went home at night did they cry or ask god for forgiveness? Or is it possible that they actually could believe they were doing something good?

My mind wandered about what it would feel like to be in a gas chamber until I realized, hey, crazy, you're in a steam room. Why I am in here, I'm not sure. I think it's supposed to be good for the skin? Opens up your pores? Beats me. The first time I stepped into one I was freaking out and couldn't take it for more than a minute but today I was enjoying it more. Still not sure of the point of them but I like to play a game called lets see how long I can stay in here. I wondered if someone could die if they got locked in there. Or what if I fell asleep? It was hot and steamy, I was sans clothes, my skin was moist... it felt kind of like I just had great sex, minus the orgasm.

So I still don't fully understand the purpose of the steam room, other than to remind me how long it's been since I've had great sex.

starting over again

thank you, brother, for this one

Because when push comes to shove

you taste what you're made of

you might bend til you break

'cause its all you can take

on your knees you look up

decide you've had enough

you get mad, you get strong

wipe your hands and get up

then you stand

everytime you get up and get back in the race

one more small piece of you starts to fall into place

here's to the first piece